How to move past small talk.
Small talk is a warm-up, not a destination. The exit is usually one better question away.
Why chats get stuck there
Both people are being polite and waiting for the other to go first. Someone has to raise the stakes slightly — opinions, stories, plans, preferences.
What you can say
- 1Ask about what they enjoy rather than what they do.
- 2Share something first so the exchange is even.
- 3Follow up on a detail instead of moving to a new topic.
Example messages
What do you do?
What part of your week do you actually look forward to?
Last thing that made you properly laugh?
You mentioned you grew up by the coast — do you miss it, or was it too quiet?
What to avoid
- ✕Deep questions in the first three messages.
- ✕Interview rhythm with nothing about you.
When to leave the conversation alone
If every attempt at a real topic comes back flat, the chemistry may just not be there over text. Suggest meeting or let it go.
Related Hook - Ai Rizz Wingman tool
AI Reply Generator
Run your own conversation through it and get suggestions built on what was actually said.
Keep reading
Related Hook - Ai Rizz Wingman guides
FAQ
Common questions
Anything they would not tell a new colleague, early on.
Get a reply from your actual conversation.
Paste the chat or upload a screenshot, pick a tone, send the one that sounds like you.