How to talk about exclusivity.
The exclusivity conversation goes better when it is a statement of what you want rather than a test of what they want.
It is a conversation, ideally in person or on a call, not a text ultimatum.
When to have it
When you have been seeing each other consistently and you would be uncomfortable finding out they were dating other people. That is the signal, not a number of weeks.
What you can say
- 1Say what you want plainly.
- 2Ask where they are, without a deadline attached.
- 3Give them room to think rather than an answer on the spot.
Example messages
I like where this is going and I've stopped seeing other people. Wanted to tell you and hear where you're at.
Can I ask something direct? Are we seeing other people, or are we past that?
No rush on an answer — I'd just rather know than guess.
What to avoid
- ✕Hinting for weeks and resenting the silence.
- ✕Framing it as an ultimatum.
- ✕Having the whole conversation by text if you can have it in person.
When to leave the conversation alone
If they do not want the same thing, believe the first answer. Staying and hoping it changes is the expensive option.
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FAQ
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